Ever wonder why, when our plate is overflowing, we still resist asking someone else to take a dish? It’s not just stubbornness. There are hidden beliefs and blockers stacked against us. In this piece, we peel back the layers—internal, structural, cultural—that explain why asking for help often feels off-limits, even when we need it most.

We must address—for younger adults, parents, women, and everyone in between—why people don’t ask for help. People don’t ask for help for a thousand little reasons. But they mostly fall into three big buckets: internal, structural, and cultural.

It’s not just that people are overworked. Or too proud. Or don’t know where to turn. It’s all of it—layered and tangled into a system that makes self-reliance feel like a virtue, even when it’s quietly eroding our wellbeing.

The Quiet Bias Toward Doing It All
Let’s start with the most insidious layer: the internal dialogue. Many Americans carry a deep-seated belief that they are failing if they’re not able to handle everything on their own. Nearly half (48%) say exactly that. They don’t ask for help, not because they’re thriving—but because they should be able to do it themselves. Another 44% worry they’d be burdening someone else by asking. And among younger adults, the emotional weight runs even deeper: one in four people aged 18–34 say their needs simply aren’t as important as others’.

When Help Isn’t Accessible—or Even Thinkable
And then there are the structural hurdles. Even when people want help, they’re often blocked by logistics. Seventeen percent don’t know who to ask. Twenty-nine percent say it takes more time to ask for help than to just do it themselves. A full quarter of Americans (24%) say they flat-out can’t afford it. So, they push through. Exhausted, but unsure of what else to do.

The Cultural Fog
Finally, there’s the cultural fog we all live in—the messages we absorb without even noticing. Thirteen percent of Americans say they’ve simply never thought to ask for help. It never even occurred to them that was an option. Others are hesitant because they fear the results: 21% worry the help they get won’t meet their expectations. And 19% aren’t even sure anyone would show up if they did ask.

What does all this add up to? A country full of people navigating life alone—not because they want to, but because the path to support is obscured by guilt, shame, and uncertainty. We praise independence. We glamorize the hustle. We whisper “you’ve got this” when really, we should be saying, “you don’t have to do this alone.” Until we acknowledge these blockers, we’ll keep reinforcing a culture where burnout is the baseline. But the data is clear: Americans aren’t unwilling to ask for help. They’re just uninvited.

We've got the stats to back it up. Read our full report here.

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