You know that nagging feeling that you forgot something, even when you just checked your list five minutes ago? That’s the mental load talking. Whether you’re running a household, a career, or both, it’s the invisible checklist in your head that never quits. In this piece, we dive into why seemingly small chores and decisions add up to a heavy burden—and why recognizing the mental load is the first step to lightening it.

Even for those who feel mostly in control, life feels harder than it should. Half of Americans say that simply managing daily life takes more effort than seems reasonable. 

What makes life feel so heavy? The top culprits include household upkeep, healthcare logistics, and planning things like travel and dining. These aren’t exotic or extravagant burdens. They’re the everyday nuts and bolts of living. And yet, for many, they feel overwhelming. 

Healthcare Avoidance and the Quiet Epidemic of Delay

Take healthcare, for example. Over one in five Americans (22%) say they avoid scheduling their own doctor’s appointments or procrastinate and only do it when absolutely necessary. Women and younger adults are the most likely to delay: 31% of women aged 18–34 admit to procrastinating or avoiding entirely, including one in ten who avoid it completely. 

And this has real, measurable consequences. A recent study showed that compared to women in other high-income countries, women in the U.S. have the highest rate of avoidable deaths: 270 of every 100,000 deaths could have been prevented if the right prevention or treatment were provided at the right time. 

Men in the same age bracket (aged 18–34) show similar tendencies—a quarter (25%) report procrastinating until necessary or avoiding completely making appointments for themselves. 

Very few seek to ask for support with their appointments. Just 7% of Americans say they ask for help or delegate this kind of task when they can, dropping as low as 2–4% in men and women 55+. This is a quiet epidemic of personal deferral. 

Self-Care: The First Thing to Go

Self-care is faring no better. Over a quarter (27%) of Americans delay or completely avoid purchasing self-care products or services for themselves or only make space for it late at night or in off-hours. Among women 35–44, that number climbs to 42%. Among men of the same age, it's 35%. 

Even when people do take action, it’s often under pressure. One in ten (10%) admit they tend to stay up late or squeeze in these tasks at odd hours, trying to force productivity into margins already too tight, piling on more stress. 

And again, delegation is rare: just 8% say they ask for help or delegate when they can. Even those who are overwhelmed and need self-care the most are often unwilling—or unable—to shift the load. Almost half of women 18–54 (45%) feel like they should handle tasks themselves. 

The Hidden Cost

These aren't dramatic breakdowns. They’re slow, quiet decisions to defer. To wait. To do it later. And when “later” comes, it’s often accompanied by exhaustion, resentment, or guilt.

Want to learn more? Read our full report here.

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